Just some Book and Movies that I Freaking Love. No Big Deal.

Hello, thanks for tuning in.

My last blog post was about some of my Unpopular Opinions so to balance the scale, here  is a bit of a list of books and movies that I really love.

Let's start with books.  I'm a writer, this is in some weird kind of way a writing blog, so I expect some of my readers will also be writers.  So what are my all time desert island top five favourite books?

THE EARTHSEA CYCLE by Ursula Le Guin.  It's just a masterpiece, no question.  The words flow like poetry off the page, so simple yet so deep and profound.  Le Guin's magic system and dragons are the best that I've read, especially how the magic, legends and dragons of Earthsea are so interconnected.  Another reason this series resonates with me is that I read it soon after learning about Taoism, and the Earthsea cycle is certainly rooted in the Taoist message, living in balance with nature and with ourselves.

Even though A CLOCKWORK ORANGE is not Anthony Burgess' best book (in my opinion Earthly Powers is) it is certainly one of my favourites. The main drawcard is the Nadsat language Burgess created (or at least borrowed from the Russian tongue). Here's an example "I do not wish to describe, brothers, what other horrible veshches I was like forced to viddy that afternoon. The like minds of this Dr. Brodsky and Dr. Branom and the others in white coats, and remember there was this devotchka twiddling with the knobs and watching the meters, they must have been more cally and filthy than any prestoopnick in the Staja itself."  The linguistic style of this whole novel is amazing, and as a writer and lover of languages, it absolutely fascinates me.  But the other reason this book is so great and enduring is the message that the kids will always rebel.  No-one can stop this, it is an enduring aspect of our society.

I've already mentioned one fantasy series, but absolutely must include THE CHRONICLES OF THOMAS COVENANT by Stephen Donaldson.  This is the ultimate anti-hero story, and as far as taking the reader on an emotional journey and exploring the depths of human frailty, this Epic Fantasy series stands head and shoulders above everything else.  Because of the sheer unlikeability of the protagonist and the crimes he commits, I get that a lot of people struggle with this book.  And that's OK.  A lot of the supporting characters more than make up for the cruelty of the protagonist.  I'm not going to say that I identify with Thomas Covenant, but flawed characters, characters that fail and characters seeking redemption are so much more interesting and relatable than the 'perfect hero' - the Supermans, the Harry Potters, the Sparhawks.

I have two choices left.  I need to include something by P. K. Dick, but what?  So many to choose from.  I guess it has to be V.A.L.I.S - the greatest example of a literary mindfuck I've ever read.  I chose this one because it's just so weird.  It's based on Dick's own experience of a psychotic episode, and is a bizarre story of fragmented realities and worlds breaking down, with a strong spiritual understanding.  There really is nothing else quite like it.

Okay.  The last book.  It's PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK by Joan Lindsay.  It's a rare book that can transport you somewhere, and this book, with Lindsay's vivid descriptions of the Australian bush; the sights, sounds and smells that she captures so well takes my back home every time.  So there's that, but it's also a superb mystery full of eerie events, curious characters and sinister undertones.  Like Kenneth Cook's 'Wake in Fright' this book talks about the danger and darkness at the heart of Australia which will not be tamed.  Cook portrayed that darkness in the souls of the Australians themselves, but this mystery questions whether the darkness perhaps comes from the deep depths of the country itself.

Honourable mentions go to A SCANNER DARKLY (Dick), OBERNEWTYN (Carmody), THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS (Le Guin), STEPPENWOLF (Hesse), ALONE IN BERLIN (Fallada) and AMERICAN GODS (Gaiman).

Movies.  Here are my top five.
Firstly though, does anyone else remember when DVDs came out?  I told myself that I'd only ever buy a movie on DVD if it was one that you'd want to keep watching over and over again.  And the first DVD I brought was BEING JOHN MALKOVICH.  Cameron Diaz, John Cusack, and John Malkovich were all amazing in this mind-blowing Spike Jonze film.  Cusack's character finds some tunnel in his office building taking him briefly inside John Malkovich's head.  There's love, there's betrayal, and some truly surreal moments (including a monkey's flashback to it's own childhood) and a lot of really funny moments.

I love Sci-Fi.  And I love Horror.  So it's not going to be a surprise that EVENT HORIZON is next.  Sam Neil joins the crew of the Lewis and Clark after the beacon of the experimental ship he helped design, the 'Event Horizon' reappears in the solar system after disappearing for a long period.  They board the ship and soon find the crew is dead.  Where had the ship been?  What happened to it?  And (of course) what had it brought back?  There's a lot of psychology in this story as well, which I really appreciste.  The acting is good, the characters are good, and when it gets dark, it gets REALLY dark.  Certainly worthy of a remake.

Next, NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY OF THE WIND.  While I prefer anti-hero stories, Miyazaki's hero, Nausicaa, is just so perfect.  A anime sci-fi post - apocalyptic movie with humanity on the brink of survival, who could ask for more?  This movie was created with such love that we can still feel it, some 30 years later.  It still gives me all the feels.

So far, the films I have listed have definitely shown my age.  So this underappreciated film is a modern masterpiece, and in my mind the best movie of the last decade.  I am talking about CABIN IN THE WOODS, the genre-defying horror-comedy produced by Joss Whedon (and frankly the best thing he's been involved in since Firefly).  It is hilarious, it is scary, it is deviously clever and frankly a work of genius.

Another all-time favourite is STARDUST, based on the novel by Neil Gaiman.  A beautiful, captivating story about a young man who promises to bring back a fallen star to win the heart of a young woman.  Only problem is, the star fell on the other side of The Wall, where the rules are a bit different.  It's magical and full of brilliant acting, of course everyone points out Robert De Niro, Claire Daines and Sienna Miller (who were great) but the actors who really stole the show for me were Mark Heap and Julian Rhind-Tutt.  All things considered, there are only two grievances one can have with this movie; Ricky Gervais and how the ending is a bit different to the novel.  Don't tell anyone, but I prefer this ending!

Honourable mentions go to RED STATE, GALAXY QUEST, ZOOLANDER, DOGMA, and EDGE OF TOMORROW.

So that's it for me now.  I'm off to write some dystopian stories.  If you want to comment on any of my choices or leave your own top-five lists, go right ahead!


Stay Awesome!

Unpopular Opinions. You will probably hate me forever now.

Just for fun, here is a list of my Unpopular Opinions.

I don't even know why I am doing this, because I can pretty much guarantee that you will strongly oppose at least one of these opinions. Quite possibly enough to make you never want to read anything else I write ever. Which - as I actually want to publish some books soon, and have you buy them and read them - is something I should be trying to avoid! I can see this ending in disaster. Yay! This is going to be great!


So if Unpopular Opinions were an Olympic event, I would have all the medals.

I can out-Unpopular Opinion anyone.


Come at me.


So, with the recent release of 'Deadpool 2' and 'Avengers: Infinity War' in the cinemas, here are my Superhero-related Unpopular Opinions:


#1 'MYSTERY MEN' IS THE BEST SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER. Look. I know what you're going to say. "It can't be a good movie and have Ben Stiller in it." And usually I'd agree with you. But there are like three movies where he doesn't make you want to rip your eyes out, and this, as well as 'Zoolander' are two of them. Anyway it also had Geoffrey Rush and Janeane Garofalo who are two of my favourite actors. "Ok. Whatever." You say, shaking your head. "But what makes it the best superhero movie?" Get this. Not one member of this mysterious band of superheroes actually have superheroes. Well maybe one does. And that makes these guys and girls one thousand times more relateable and likeable than any actual superhero. Ok. That was an easy one. Brace yourself though, coz shit's going to get real very fast.


#2 I JUST CAN'T BE ARSED WITH SUPERHEROES, HONESTLY. Ok. I bet that got your attention. This is a double pronged one. As I touched on before, I don't find superheroes relateable. Like I don't get how someone can identify with an alien from another planet whose only weakness is Kryptonite. Show of hands, guys. Who here can fly, stop trains, shift the entire orbit/rotation of Planet Earth? "Okay, but how about a human who becomes a superhero?" I could probably relate to an alien better than I could relate to a billionaire, frankly.


But the lack of relatability is only minor. What's more important to me is that sometimes I think that the whole superhero culture is dangerous. We need to be telling kids that they can change the world. They don't have to be super strong aliens or billionaires or get bit my radioactive spiders. They are enough just as they are. When it comes down to it, we are going to need to save ourselves. If we keep waiting for a superhero to do it we're doomed.


So anyone still reading, make yourself a nice cup of tea. Treat yourself to one of those nice biscuits you've got hidden away. Thanks for making it this far. This next one is going to be an easier pill to swallow.


#3 BRENDAN FRASER STOLE JERRY O'CONNELL'S CAREER. Like I can't actually back that up. But Fraser's breakout role was in 'The Mummy' and I will swear 'til my dying day that role should have been O'Connell's. Like I don't even know if O'Connell auditioned. But he would have been perfect in that role, and Fraser is the kind of actor who even looks confused himself how he's still getting parts. You know that general confused and out-of-his-depth look that's basically his trademark? He's not acting. He's confused as to what he's even doing in front of a camera. Anyway, how freaking good was Sliders? That's a TV series they should bring back.


Alright. Let's move to novels now. Do you still have that tea? Best brew another cup before reading further.


#4 HARRY POTTER WAS NOT THAT GREAT. So it took me a long time to actually pick up the book. Ten years? Yeah that's a while. Having said that, I only read Anna Karenina last year too. 140 years since it was published versus ten years since it was published. And despite not reading the books or watching the movies, everyone has known who Potter was and what the story was about pretty much since it came out. So I was like "Young boy-Wizard goes to magic school - I've read this before." And then you hear about other characters and scenes and they bear striking resemblances to characters and scenes you've read in other fantasy novels, and you just get less and less excited about it. So by the time I read it, I'd heard the whole story about how it was rejected seventeen times before it was picked up by a publisher. And when I was reading it, I could see why. But I have to acknowledge that the humour that Rowling brought to the story was really good, genuinely funny English humour.


#5 A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE WAS SO BORING AND PREDICTABLE I COULDN'T FINISH IT. Well I gave up somewhere in the third book. I mean, what more is there to say? When you've read it all before, why would you keep reading? Honestly it felt like more like a homage to the great sci-fi/fantasy literature of the past hundred years than anything else.


Anyone still reading, thankyou. You can, of course, post your feedback in the comments. Tell me why I'm wrong about everything. And remember, your opinions are as valid as my own.


#6 THERE STAR WAS REBELS / RESISTANCE ARE TERRORISTS. Before you start, hear me out. Anyone who does what the Rebels / Resistance do in our world are given the label 'terrorist' and are universally condemned. And if you still don't think Luke Skywalker and your childhood heroes deserve that title, consider the definition of a terrorist act, "an act of violence to achieve a political, religious or ideological aim." The Rebels sure as hell have different political and ideological aims and beliefs to the Empire, hence any acts of violence they are involved in can accurately be defined as acts of terrorism. So the question becomes "is terrorism ever acceptable?" A quick history lesson will show that America has supported terrorism for a long time, I mean those who fought against the English in the American Revolution must also be described as terrorists. Ultimately, it comes down to who is telling the story, doesn't it? We call the American Revolutionaries 'heroes' because they won, and the winners tell the story. If they lost, and the English told the story, would they still be revered as heroes? I don't think so.


So that was fun, wasn't it?  I guess you probably all think I'm a bitter soul who doesn't like anything. But you'd be wrong. For balance, my next piece will be about the books and movies that I just love.   

Australia Day, and the Constant Spectre of Politics in Literature

So today is May 8. M8. Mate.

I am one of the minority who call it Australia Day.

Why? Because the official day (the 26th of January) celebrates the arrival of the First Fleet and the creation of the British colonies in Australia. And as you might imagine, the arrival of Europeans in a continent already populated by Aboriginals never works out well for the Aboriginal people, or First Australians in this case.
The First Australians refer to the 26th as 'Invasion Day' and given the shit that they've survived since, the inequality and racism that they continue to endure, I can't see anything worth celebrating on the 26th of January apart from the survival against all odds of Australia's Aboriginal people. So we need a new day that all Australians - whether their ancestors arrived here 20 years ago, 120 year ago or 80 thousand years ago - can celebrate what this land means to them. May 8? Why not.
So this blog is usually about writing. So why am I talking about politics? Because the two are intrinsically linked. As I wrote on twitter (here's the link) Books are Political - Books talk about our world, our experiences, our cultures and our beliefs. Even kid's books - 'The Lorax' for example. Books open reader's minds to new ways of looking at the world, of challenging conventional stereotypes, challenging social constructs like racism and sexism, and inspiring people to fight back against their oppressors.

This was something I always knew in the back of my head, but it didn't crystallise until a few years ago when my wife and I were strolling down the beautiful Unter den Linden in Berlin and visited the Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin (let's just call it the Humboldt University). This was where, on May 10th 1933 the Nazis burned over 20,000 books written by "degenerates" and opponents of the Third Reich. There is a monument in the square of Humboldt University to this moment, one of many moving monuments and reminders of the crimes of the Nazis. It's an empty bookshelf with a plaque saying "Where they burn books, they will also ultimately burn people."

So what does all of this mean? I guess Paul Kelly said it best with "From Little Things Big Things Grow" (which, appropriately, is a protest song about the Gurindji people's struggle for equality and land rights). A book can plant a small seed in the mind of it's reader. which can influence the way they see the world and their beliefs. And a small group of Australians who refuse to celebrate Australia Day on it's official day but instead celebrate on a different day* well that might catch on. I hope it does get bigger over the next few years. No-one can tell us when or how we celebrate what is important to us. That is a decision everybody can make for themselves, and there isn't a damn thing the Government can do. So Happy Australia Day.



*Obviously the "Invasion Day" protesters and thousands of people who have condemned the continual celebration of Australia Day on the 26th of January and the whole "Change the Date" movement have inspired people like myself to actively celebrate Australia Day on a different day is where this idea started.

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"What's it going to be then, eh?" is how every part of Burgess' A Clockwork Orange starts.  It's how every day of our own lives start too.

Is this the day we step up, take the risk, get our shit together?  Is this the day we finally do everything we've been putting off?  Is this the day we're going to do something different, something special?  Or are we just going to muddle through it, work another shift at a job we're sick of and do the exact same thing as yesterday?  I'm not trying to be inspirational here, I'm just stating facts.  If we want to change our lives, we can.  In P. K. Dick's A Scanner Darkly Rob Arctor had a wife, a family, a job.  Then he hit his head unexpectedly on an open cupboard door and decided that it wasn't the life he wanted to live anymore.

I guess that's the closest analogy I have for how I became a writer.  It happened almost by accident.  And I'm still struggling to work it in around my full-time job, having a broken hand (which you might remember from my previous blog) and my family.  Honestly though, I'm still figuring out what to do with what I've written.  Before approaching agents with the first book in the series featuring Alex and the Madhouse Kids I'd like to self-publish a stand-alone novel online.  I've got a half-finished NaNoWriMo project, but there's a long way to go with that one.  So I guess if I want to go down that path I've got to write another book.  I've also recently submitted two flash fiction pieces which may get published if I'm incredibly lucky.  I also want to share some of my writing on my blog for you all too.  Maybe if my flash fiction pieces don't get published I might publish them here.  Another idea is I could share some horribly embarrassing songs I wrote when I was in university.  Any suggestions you may have would be welcome.  Let me know in the comments.

Back to "what's it going to be then, eh?" though, that's not a once-a-day type question.  That's asked of us every time a colleague tells a racist joke, or when you see sexism or bullying on your way to work, for example.  When you're in a position where you see any behaviour like that, you automatically ask yourself "shit, should I say something here?" or have a "what's it going to be then, eh?" moment.  And stepping up in that moment, stopping the bully, telling them that sexism or racism is not acceptable, actually changes you too.  You feel better about yourself, you feel like you're more capable, and you won't spend the rest of the day / week / year wishing you did something.  This is actually the topic of one of flash fiction pieces I recently submitted.  It is based on my own experiences, and when writing it I titled it Heroes but since there's a few references to the Bowie song of the same name, I changed the title at the last minute.  To avoid any possible legal issues, basically.  Anyway maybe in a couple of weeks I will publish it here. 

I probably shouldn't be writing at all right now, because of my broken hand, so I'm going to sign off here.

Stay well, and if you feel like it, tell me about your "what's it going to be then, eh?" moments! 

I'm slightly concerned about how many people read my last post.

Almost thirty of you read my last post, 'How important are titles, anyway?'

And I wasn't prepared for that.

I haven't covered my blog with warnings cautioning you not to follow my advice or my example yet.  Come on, people.

- I still insist on writing with two spaces after a full stop.  And I get annoyed by any books written which only have one space after a full stop.  Which is pretty much every book published in the last twenty years.

- I am writing this while listening to my entire back catalogue of Hunters & Collectors albums.  On CD.  Currently I've got 'The Jaws of Life' from 1984 blasting away.  You don't need to follow that example.

- Not only am I listening to music that the Australia Post delivery guy just cringed at, but I am doing all this with my right hand in a cast.  That's right.  I broke my hand.  And I'm a writer, FFS!  I need that hand, dammit!

- And I broke it in the stupidest way possible.  *Awkwardly changes disc to 'The Way to go Out' (1985)*  This dickhead here thought it was a good idea to punch a tram.  I mean, in my defence the tram had it's doors open, and the driver clearly saw me running up to him, waving my arms.  But he clearly thought it would be a great gag to close those doors in my face.  And the next tram wasn't expected for another twenty minutes.  Fair to say I was a bit pissed off.

- But I also suck at getting medical attention.  I hoped I'd just bruised my hand, you know.  There was no numbness and I could wiggle all my fingers.  Good signs, right?  So I iced it and tried to sleep it off.  It was still sore and swollen the next day so I called in sick and took myself to the GP.  He referred me to a radiology clinic connected to a local hospital to get an x-ray.  20 minute journey, then after half-an-hour in the clinic I got x-rayed.  The x-ray people saw I'd broken something, and told me to take those x-rays back to my doctor right away.  Which I did.   Another 20 minute journey and another wait in the doctor's waiting room.  He saw the x-ray and said I had to go to the hospital's emergency room.  Which is exactly what I wanted to avoid.  I was considering breaking my other hand against the wall of his office I was that frustrated.  I was just some loser with a sore hand, certainly nobody's definition of an emergency.  So everyone else who would come through would be seen as requiring more urgent attention than myself.  Eventually they did see me, but they couldn't use the x-rays I'd got only hours earlier, so I had to go through that whole process again. 

- Repetition frustrates me.  I hate repetitive music, the same lyrics over and over again, I hate it when people repeat what they told me only moments ago.  And I hate having to repeat myself most of all.  And everyone I spoke to, my GP, the x-ray technicians, the triage nurse, admin nurse and doctors at the hospital all asked the same questions.  Not to mention the second lot of x-ray technicians and random nurses who attended me.  And I didn't want to tell this super-embarrassing story once, let alone repeating it over and over again.  *Changes disc to 1986's 'Human Frailty'*  It's kinda funny though, about how I can't stand repetition but at the same time really love dogs.  I mean, they only know one word.

Anyway, I was considering using my fight against a 20 ton unfeeling steel monstrosity to espouse the values of picking one's fights.  But you know what?  Sod it.  Fighting isn't about winning.  Obviously losing's no fun, but if you only get involved when you can win, you're never going to take action against the injustice and oppression that surrounds us, that we (perhaps unconsciously) support by our silence and our passivity.

How important are titles, anyway?

The novel I have been working of for some time now is currently titled 'Emma and the Madhouse Kids' and sure, it sounds good.

It means there's going to be:
*an Emma.
*Kids, possibly from some "madhouse" -  whatever that means.

And those things are true.  But, believe it or not, there's actually a lot more to it than that.  Firstly, while there is an Emma, she actually isn't the main character.  She thinks she is, and in a way it is all about her, but the main character is actually Alex.  So should I call it 'Alex and the Madhouse Kids' instead?

What about those Madhouse Kids?  Well yes.  I mean, no.  There is a bunch of kids at a medical facility where experiments are done on their brain, but never once is it referred to as a 'Madhouse'.  Maybe I need to work on that.  Maybe I should just call it 'Emma'.

But maybe I can keep it as is.  I mean, think of all the books with misleading titles.  Wait.  Don't even think.  Here is a list.

The Six Most Misleading Book Titles.

1. 'To Kill A Mockingbird' -  Not a story about killing birds.
2. 'The Neverending Story' - Well the main gripe I have with this title is that it ended.
3. 'Trainspotting' - Unless that actually is a term for Heroin that I've never heard of.
4. 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' - Just nope.
5. 'The Man in the High Castle' - Amazing book, but no.  The title is all wrong.
6.  'Breakfast at Tiffany's' - No.  No-one had breakfast there in the entire book.  I don't even know if you can have breakfast there. I thought it was a Jewellery store.

But you know what?  Despite having titles that just make no sense, most books on that list are amazing.  So I will stick with that title for now.  And you know what?  When I write the sequels, their titles won't make sense either.  'Kiara under the Reichstag' and 'Devendra versus the Tokyo Traitor' - well until I think of something better anyway.

Which I am certainly going to do at some point after they've been published.

Why the Name?

Why the name?
Oh, you mean 'The Perils of German Cusine'?
Yeah.

Mostly I thought it sounded good.  Mostly. 
My mum and her family escaped from the Soviet East Germany and, as refugees, found their way to Australia.  So exploring my German roots and connecting with German culture is something that's important to me, and what better way to explore culture than food?

The one drawback is that my mum can't cook.  So I've had to teach myself how to cook, mostly through Jamie Oliver's 'Ministry of Food' and trial and error.  And through travelling the length and breadth of Germany, from Dusseldorf to Dresden, Hamburg to Oberstdorf, I really enjoyed the German food in all it's wonderful varieties, and, of course, the beer.  So I hope to learn one or two German dishes throughout the course of this adventure.

That's not very perilous though.
Well you haven't seen me cook.  And, of course, life is perilous.  And, if I survive long enough (and if this blog survives, let's be honest) I will regale you with stories of my brushes with death.  So we've got that to look forward to.

If you read my first post, you might remember that I achieved more last year than I could possibly have envisioned.  So far this year - up to the first week of March - my greatest achievement is removing the 'We've Made Mental Health a Priority' signs from the office.  I have honestly been struggling at work recently, as have a lot of the others, as a result of industry-wide changes that began in December.  Couple that with decisions by management which show a complete disregard for the mental health of the staff, it was something I just had to do.  A little victory, if you will.

I will sign off now, and I wish you all the best, may you achieve the little victories you need, even if it is just getting through the day.